How to Lose the Fear of Losing Anything

“Sometimes what you are afraid of is not exactly what you are afraid of.”

We have all felt the fear of losing something. Whether it’s a relationship or a career opportunity, Fear is a natural feeling, but the real question is, "How do you know what you are afraid of so you can treat it?"

Now you will think, what a stupid question; I know what I’m afraid of. You think you know it, but you don't.

• You are not afraid of getting fat; you are afraid of rejection.

• You are not afraid of heights; you are afraid of falling.

• You are not afraid of being yourself; you are afraid of others' judgment.

Also, keep in mind that we’re only born with two types of fears:

1.    Fear of loud noises

2.    Fear of falling

Everything else isn’t real. Being scared of snakes or spiders, being dark, and losing someone are all illusions. These fears don’t exist in our minds, but the belief system in our society has taught us that these fears are real. Remember, when you were a kid, you were afraid of ghosts? Now that you know they aren’t real, you go to your bathroom at midnight all alone. Some are still scared of ghosts because their minds haven’t evolved outside that false belief circle. I also believe in ghosts, but I’m not scared of them because I also believe in God.

Let me tell you how I came to realize these points:

Usually, I take my bike to my office, but it was a rainy day and I couldn’t find my raincoat, so I took a bus. I don’t like traveling in buses, but I love observing people being people. You will find every kind of person in there: smokers, matchmakers, whining kids, uncles holding dozens of suitcases, and complaining wives. The benefit of observing people is that you get to learn a lot about yourself—how you are different from them and how you are really not.

Photo by Manki Kim on Unsplash

As the journey continued, I observed that one thing was common in their eyes: 'the fear of losing'. People who were waiting for their next stop were afraid of missing it; the resting ones were afraid of losing their belongings; those who made new connections were afraid of being judged; and the ones glued to their phones were afraid their lives would always be the same—to go somewhere; they didn't want to.

But what was I afraid of? I'm scared of many things. But at that moment, I didn't fear anything because I was too focused on observing my thoughts. I didn't let any negative feelings disturb me from watching the symphony of people’s eyes. You do it too when reading a book, watching the clouds, or viewing any beautiful piece of art.

You may have heard of the book ‘Untethered Soul’ by Michael Alan Singer. The author explained in the book how you aren’t your feelings, urges, or thoughts; you are the one who observes it all.

And if you like watching series, you may have watched ‘The Witcher’ starring Henry Cavill. Among many inspiring quotes in the series, here’s a quote about fear and its logic: "Fear is an illness, and if you catch it and leave it untreated, it can consume you." How do you treat it? You face it.

Remember these few points and face your fears head-on:

·  If you don't know the exact reason behind your fear, you can't treat it. That's why you should always watch over the mental journey of your goals, desires, or needs, but don’t be attached to them. Because when you get obsessed with the output, your brain gives you a thousand reasons to lose it.

·  Think of the journey, not the outcome, and your brain will provide you with ways to reach the destination.

·  Fear is a negative energy; replace it with a positive energy by writing good-life affirmations and gratitude notes.

·  Try different forms of meditation, like walking to nature, listening to calming music, crafting, gardening, etc.

·  Realizing the science behind fears helped me overcome my fears; I hope they do the same for you. Follow these tips, and you will be fearless. Cheers to becoming your best self!